The divergent week

This week I got less time to do watercolor sketches, because of job hunting, finding daycare for Ethan, contacting galleries for exhibition opportunities, and the last few steps of our moving.

However, I got more time to think. What is the direction of my new works? Yes, I want to paint baby, not only because of Ethan. I have this wish for a long time. It starts from a painting by Gerhard Richter  Moritz by Gerhard Richter.

There is something, now let me roughly say it is half-human half-animal, of a little baby. Not saying it is the direction I want to go to, painting little animal-human, just it catches me, and stays. I want a real model, like Ethan, not some photos, to observe, to paint from live. The close observation and spending time with is so important that it is the only way that I can bring out truth.

So happily, at least now, I think I got the sense of what direction this is leading to. I will be upset and depress soon, as soon as I start to sketching for the paintings. But at least now, let me enjoy one flash of happiness.

Next week will be Ethan’s first week in a daycare. I feel very sad and very guilty about it. I want to be with him, especially when he is so young, only two and half months old. However, at the same time, I understand that a better career, can bring him much more than what I am giving now. And I need time to paint.

Wish he will understand and forgive me one day. I love him so much.

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Reading while Breastfeeding

Recently, I find that breastfeeding is a good time to read. I have a kindle, which helps a lot. You can use one hand to manage everything, read, turn the page, highlight, quote, even share it online. Ethan enjoys a quiet time to have his meal for usually 30 to 45 mins. I enjoy a quiet and not short time to read, can finish several pages, and mark all the information I need. Both of us are relaxing and happy. 🙂

From today’s reading:

“I always thought, that an artist’s was the hardest life of all. Its rigour – not always apparent to an outside observer – is that an artist has to navigate forward into the unknown guided only by an internal sense of direction keep up a set of standards which are imposed entirely from within, meanwhile maintaining faith that the task he or she has set him or herself is worth struggling constantly to achieve. This is all contrary to the notion of bohemian disorder.” – says LF from Man with a Blue Scarf.

The first week in my Artist Residency in Motherhood (09/17)

Ethan has already go to bed. I checked several times. He looks so perfect, which melts my heart. I got a little bit time for myself now, and I am not sure if I can have any personal time in the rest of this week. So I decided to write something done.

English is not my mother language, and I am too tired to think clear. So forgive me if you read “odd murmurs” here.

The first week of my residency has went fine. I tried to catch every nap time to sketch, late night for watercolor mainly. Works here:

08262017head copy

Head

09012017babyhead

Side

09052017baby

Baby

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Red

Whoa! The last head looks huge! 🙂

I enjoy doing these watercolor sketches. The thing bothers me is what are they going to be. I knew I will do oil paintings later, if I can get more time, which seems hopeless now. But, let us put time issue away, just optimistically wish I got enough time and enough space to do it. What am I going to do?

Another question is, obvious in these sketches, I am only interested in the head part. Why? I do not know. I look at his head and his face most of the time. I look at him, and I am fascinated by his face, his head, his chin, his mouth, his eyelash. I might hold his hand all the time, but my eyes, my gaze, go to his face. As soon as I painted the clothes part, I lost my interest. Tho I bought so many clothes, too many for a little infant, for him. I have no interest to paint them.

Also, as contemporary art, I have several ideas behind these drawings/paintings, or statement I can make. However, for some reason, I want to keep it simple, keep it pure, this time. Only paint, only draw, just between I and him, just what I saw, what I feel. Because when I am holding him, the whole world disappears, time stops.

I have to go to bed now. Need sleep to keep my brain working. Night. Night.

Q.Song @ Residency in Motherhood

After having Ethan, my son, in late June, I was anxious about my career as an artist because of those huge changes happening in my life. I looked for help and was introduced by a friend to this self-directed, open-source artist residency for artists who are mothers – An Artist Residency in Motherhood. After some research, I feel this residency idea is beautiful, helpful, and inspiring, and decide to take part in.

Therefore, here I am, starting and structuring A Residency in Motherhood for myself.

Qing @ Residency in Motherhood will start from Sept. 11th, 2017, and end till June 27th, 2018, when my little Ethan is one-year-old. During this residency, I will “fully experience and explore the fragmented focus, na-length studio time, limited movement and resources and general upheaval that parenthood brings and allow it to shape the direction of my art work, rather than working against it.” (Residency in Motherhood manifesto)

This blog will be my residency working diary, in which I will weekly update my thoughts, plans, sketches, etc. And here is a rough weekly goal for Sept, 2017:

  • 1 working diary;
  • 3 painting sketches;
  • 5 drawing sketches;
  • finish the sketches and start the first oil painting in Sept.

Okay. 🙂

Talk to you later.

And here is an inspiring article you might like too: You Can Be a Mother and Still Be a Successful Artist, By Marina Cashdan.

Ethan, Sept. 9th, 2017

Ethan, Sept. 9th, 2017

Self Portrait with Mirror

Self-Portrait, Oil on Canvas, 27 x 21 inches, 2017

Self-Portrait, Oil on Canvas, 27 x 21 inches, 2017

Sketchbook

Watercolor on Sketchbook, watercolor on paper, Qing Song, 2016

Watercolor on Sketchbook, watercolor on paper, Qing Song, 2016

 

I believe that any person’s real experience is always meaningful, always fresh, and never becomes a cliche.